Trying to lose myself: A Vegan Weight Loss Journey!

{January 5, 2015}   Visit new website!

WOW! It’s been awhile and for those who didn’t know when I stopped posting here I created my own website hosted on my own domain!  To visit go to

You may also find me on the following social media websites:

YouTube –

Facebook – 

Instagram –

Twitter –

Yelp –

Pinterest –

Google +  –

Thank you!



{February 12, 2010}   February 12th, 2010

This update is rather quick. Today I had a lazy day. I had trouble sleeping last night, so I didn’t end up going to bed until 11am this morning. I woke up at 5pm. I plan on going to bed around 10pm tonight. Sometimes my back pain causes me to have problems sleeping, I’m getting used to it.

Today I don’t plan on eating really anything, I’m trying to set myself up for a fast of some kind. I’m not sure yet if I’m going to do a water fast or a juice fast, but I feel like I need one. Today I’ve had 3 bananas, and some lemon water. Yeah, honestly, that’s it. I might end up having more water, and I have some strawberries I’m thinking about eating, but not sure.

If you have any experiences or suggestions when it comes to fasting, let me know.

My weight (surprisingly) went down to 253.2 from 254.6, so I’m happy about that. After consuming probably (I’m not kidding) 6,000 calories yesterday, I figured I’d gain two pounds.

My cron images, my weight charts, etc. Will take awhile to start uploading again. So during my semi-temp hiatus I’ll be transferring all my files from one computer to another, and what not.

{February 12, 2010}   Temporary Hiatus

Hey everyone! Sorry about my disappearance. Lately I’ve been enjoying time with my family.

Due to some issues with the internet I’ve been gone. I’ve decided to get a new internet service. I won’t get it until the 17th, so until then I doubt I will be posting much of anything, I have big periods of sporadic connection. I have also been gone due to me getting a new computer, and getting adjusted to it.

On the bright side, when I “return” with more solid connection to the interwebz, I plan on doing more video blogging. I’ve been trying to overcome my fear of rejection, and low self-esteem, partly by the blog. I feel taking it to the next step would only benefit me. I have had a few people post, and mail me about this, so be careful what you ask for! Right now, with this slow internet, posting videos is a LONG process, this my new high-speed cable connection (on the 17th) it should be painless.


Enough of that.

So if you’re wondering, I have actually gained a few pounds. I was at 254 again this morning, and I binged out on some cookies earlier so I’
m sure I’ll go back to 255. The sad part is, I do not know WHY I eat like that, I only know its hard to control. I know it’s all mentally connected, I have considered prayer, among other things, so help resolve this. Ultimately I know the only way to do such, would be self-control/ will power.

I have also recently gotten an Excalibur dehydrator that I will be reviewing for you soon. I also plan on reviewing my old nesco dehyrdrator for those who cannot afford the Excalibur (they start at $120.00 for the smallest one). I also plan on reviewing my food processor, as well as a few other items I have in my house, just takes time.

Right now I am mainly working on transferring all my information from 3 computers into my new one, as well as an external hard drive. It just takes time. Until then you can pick over my old posts. Sorry if this post wasn’t that entertaining but I needed to let my followers know I hadn’t up and disappeared!


{February 8, 2010}   Mini Grocery Haul

Here is my grocery haul from today. Sorry I didn’t post the big haul from Friday like I promised some of you. I had company come over and just couldn’t film at the time. Instead here if the mini haul from whole foods. I hope you enjoy. As far as my weight, I weighed in at 252.9 this morning. We celebrated my husband’s birthday today so I of course I over ate, plus I had some alcohol, so I’ll probably gain like 2lbs tomorrow. Thats okay, definitely have to work harder at the gym.

I got:

1 bottle coarse sea salt
2 bottles dry sake
vegan sour cream (tofutti)
2 small ginger chews
1 red banana
1 big leak
oriental rice snacks
1lb organic hard white wheat berries
2lb organic raw sunflower seeds
1lb organic rye berries
1lb organic crystallized ginger
1.5lb organic oat groats
$28.00 aprox.

{February 6, 2010}   I was slacking

Hey everyone, sorry I haven’t posted in a while. My weight has flucuatd and I’ve just been taking time off for myself. A few days ago I bought a one year subscription to my local ymca which has a great workout room, and a large pool. Yesterday I spent 30 minutes doing treadmill, another 15 minutes doing the machines. I then spent 15 minutes swimming, and 10 minutes in the hot tub to relax. Today I “speed walked” .25 mile on the treadmill, .6 mile on tread climber, I walked .25 miles on the track, did the abs machine for 3 minutes at 95lbs, swam around with my step son for 30 minutes, waded in the pool for about an hour, and spent a total of 15 minutes in the hot tub.

Went shopping yesterday, got lots of fresh fruits/veggies. I’m very happy because my husband is now mostly raw with me, I call him my banana man. (lol)

Tomorrow ill go back to weighing myself. So far ive had a glass of orange juice, a small glass of grapefruit juice, 2 bananas, and 2 crumpets.

{February 1, 2010}   I’m good at guessing, sorta

So yesterday I said I wanted popcorn… well (un)lucky for me I had some left, and ended up eating the whole bag right before bed. I knew I was going to gain weight, so I honestl’y wasn’t surprised when the scale said I was up .6 lbs this morning, I’m okay with that. I’m sure I’ll get it off in the next couple days, I plan on rearranging my apartment so exercise indoors is more fesable.

As far as food goes I could have done better, but at the end of the month with no real food left, and not much money left, Its okay. I had 2 bananas this morning with about 16fl ounces of grapefruit juice. Then After a few hours I had 3 tacos with lots of lettuce and black olives.

Really nothing special. I might go up to 254 tomorrow from all the tacos, but thats okay. I know when I make choices to eat foods that probably won’t make me lose weight, I risk gaining some back. Maybe that sounds sad, but honestly its not. I enjoyed my tacos! 😀

{January 31, 2010}   Atleast It didn’t go up

Kinda blah day to report things. I lost .2lbs this morning, down to 252 even. At least It didn’t go up right? I suppose.

Today my food was rather strange, I started the day out with 2 bananas and a 12oz glass of grapefruit juice. Maybe 15 minutes later I drank a 12oz glass of orange juice too. Around 6pm I decided to boil some potatoes, I had way too many potatoes, 550g of potatoes to be exact. I mixed the potatoes with garlic and mustard, It didn’t taste as good as I had hoped it would, but I ate it so I didn’t waste food. I knew I was lacking fats/protein so I decided to eat some peanut butter mixed with honey. I had hoped to end my night with a salad, I had 1 head of romaine with some dressing. I thought that would be it, nope. About 4 hours later I was hungry again, I had another serving of peanut butter with honey. Now I feel like eating popcorn, who knows if I will.

I can pretty much tell you I’ll gain 1-2lbs tomorrow, my digestion feels really slow right now from the potatoes, and I haven’t really gone to the bathroom today, which in itself is weird.

I was watching a video on YouTube about how cooked food doesn’t fill you as much as raw food because it lacks nutrients. I totally believe that now after my potato binge tonight. If I had just had 2 heads of romaine I would have been fuller, longer. Instead I got hungry not long after, normally I would have been able to resist the urge to eat, but tonight I felt like it was a dire need. Really strange.

Assuming I don’t eat the popcorn (which I doubt I will, I don’t have any in the house, I think) I had 1701 calories, 42g protein (too much), 315g carbs, 36g fat (WAYY too much 250% of what I normally eat). My ratio was 08|73|19

I never did get around to working on my pages last night, I feel asleep. Sorry to those who actually clicked on them, my goal will be tomorrow, or sometime after Tuesday since my husband has monday & Tuesday off this week.

{January 30, 2010}   Measurements

Back around the beginning of this blog I did a measurements post. I was my dreaded 254. When I did the measurements I followed a chart, but I was measuring too tight. This time I did it correctly. So yes, the numbers are a bit larger on most but I wasn’t squeezing the tape really tight. I’ve also included a few old front/side photos of myself. I’m sorry if the forwardness of these photos upsets people, I feel its important to show the fat, not hide it. I’ve also included two new photos taken tonight. I tried REALLY hard to tell the differences but from the different camera angles it’s almost impossible. However my legs/arms look slimmer in the new photos, even if the measurements lie. I also noticed my neck area looks slimmer. On the front shot my stomach looks flatter and doesn’t “pouf” in the middle. And yes, the socks are comfortable, they were Xmas gifts from my sister-in-law.

Chart to show how I measure Myself:
Diagram of how I measure

Upper-Arm: 15
Fore-Arm: 11.5
Bust: 50
Chest: 47
Waist: 48.5
Hips: 52
Thighs: 24
Knee: 16.5
Calves: 18

BEFORE: (Feb,2009)(280ish)

Now: (Jan,2010)(252ish)

{January 30, 2010}   An all time low!

Since I’ve started losing weight I’ve gone down, and at times up. The whole time I had a goal to be below 250, while I’m not there yet, I feel that goal is within my grasp in the new few days. I am super excited. HOWEVER, what I can report is, today is officially the lowest I’ve been since I started losing weight, and its also the lowest I’ve been since meeting my husband.

Words cannot express how I feel right now. I felt at one point like I was a failure, that there was no way for me to loss weight. I felt (and was) so unhealthy, covered in a cloud of depression caused by my weight, I let it feed my weight gain. I would go out to buffets, binge on food, feel good for about 10 minutes, then be so depressed I wanted to cry. That sounds so pathetic to me now. I really don’t want to be one of those fat people you see on TV crying about how much they eat, but aren’t willing to change their habits. DAMNIT NO! I can honestly say without a doubt, I will never gain the weight back. Even if I fluctuate here and there I will NOT gain it back. I am so happy right now, I could cry from happiness. My husband is such a wonderful man, when I told him about my weight today he started cheering at me. Honestly I was embarassed (in a good way) how much praise he gave me. I was blushing so bright, smiling so wide, and so embarrassed I wanted to slap him.(lol) Maybe I’m too emotional about things. My husband was giving me a big hug the other day, after I complained about not being able to see my weight loss. Then in the cutest, most innocent, way he told me I was losing it off my back and sides. I was confused so I asked him to explain. He told me when he hugged me it was easier to put his arms around me, that I didn’t have as much fat on my back. I wanted to cry tears of happiness, all because my husband had noticed. Daniel isn’t the kind of guy to go around handing me flowers and showering me with compliments, so to receive one like that was more than he will ever know.

It’s so funny, I can only imagine what will go through my mind soon when I go below 250. Already my BMI is below 40 again, which is fantastic, when I started it was closer to 43. When I weighed myself this morning I got upset, I didn’t take a good look at the scale I thought it said 255.2. Some little voice in my head told me, “I think you want to check that again hun”. So of course me hearing strange voices, I took its advice. I turned back around and got on the scale again.

Not only did I not gain weight but I had yet again lost weight. So I’m sure by now you’re like “spit it out!” okay okay… I lost 2 pounds. I weigh 252.2, down from 254.2 yesterday. That may not seem like a lot to you, but to me I am so close to 250, and finally am below that dreaded 254 mark. I had this thing where every time I went to lose weight, I would lose around 30 pounds, get to 254, then my weight would go up again. I would either give up or gain it all back.

Well goodbye 254! I will NEVER see you again! (this is the point in writing where I actually shed a few tears)

Incase you are all wondering what I ate today, it was rather simple. I honestly didn’t feel hungry today, good or bad, who knows. I started the day late, for some reason I slept 12 hours, didn’t wake up until 3pm. I was surprised (in a good way) to find 1 bunch of my bananas were ripe enough to eat. So I started the day with 2 bananas and a 20oz glass of cranberry juice. About an hour later I had a 20oz glass of orange juice. About 3 hours later I had another 20oz glass of orange juice, sipping it off and on for another hour. I knew I needed some fats and protein so I had 2 tablespoons of natural organic peanut butter with 3/4 tablespoon honey drizzled in and mixed. Peanut butter never tasted so good. To end my day I decided to have a small boiled potato, 92grams to be exact, mixed with some roasted garlic and mustard. That was the perfect end to a happy day.

All in all I had 1401 calories, 23g protein, 302g carbs, 18g fat. Ratio was 06|82|12 . While I did lack a lot of vitamins and minerals today I think I’ll be okay since the body naturally stores a certain amount of vitamins/minerals. Tomorrow I’ll go back to a more well-rounded meal(s).

I’ll be working on some of my side pages tonight, I’ll also try to take a full body shot to compare it to one I took almost 2 years ago. I’m hoping to be able to SEE proof I am losing weight beyond numbers. Obviously I cannot tell looking in the mirror I’ve lost weight. I think my stomach doesn’t sag as much, maybe slightly smaller. My breasts still look the same, so I don’t think I lost it there, and my butt wasn’t that large to begin with. I’m honestly confused so I need to start seeing proof.

{January 29, 2010}   January 28th, 2010

(Posted the next day)

Today was boring. I kept my food simple today; A few glasses of orange juice, and later in the night potato salad. Exciting… not. My whole day just felt kinda numb, I’m sure you’ve had days where you just don’t care.

My guess yesterday was .5 lbs gone, well I was close. I lost .4lbs I went from 254.6 to 254.2. Not bad I suppose, I could have gained weight. Sure its sad when I don’t lose a full pound, but I (and you) need to remind myself, It took awhile to put all this weight on; It will take awhile to take it back off. In the same respects, I try not to get bummed out when I gained weight.

Ladies (men looks away, just do it now!) If when you have your period you gain a few pounds. Thats perfectly normally! A lot of times this is extra water weight, sometimes it’s not, but either way it comes off within a week or so. After that week, you’re back on track to weight loss. I know it can be a pain in the behind, but its something we have to understand. If you look at my weight chart (posted tomorrow) You can see where I had a week(ish) of my weight going up. A good part of it was food bingeing, but it was also due to female mysteries.

On a side note, twitter is confusing. I wish I understood it. Cya tomorrow!

et cetera